How I’d Raise My Dog Differently If I Could Do It Over

Because hindsight is humbling, and healing

If you’ve ever laid awake at night replaying a moment with your dog, thinking
“I should’ve handled that differently”…
You’re not alone.

I’ve been there too.
And if I could go back and start again with my own dog, knowing what I know now, things would’ve looked a lot different.

Not because I was a bad dog parent.
But because I was unprepared for how much this would impact me emotionally.

So today, I’m not going to give you tips or training advice.
I’m just going to share what I’d do differently, not with regret, but with compassion.

Because maybe, just maybe, this will help you feel a little less alone in your own journey.

I Wouldn’t Wait So Long to Acknowledge My Own Stress

In the early days, I was so focused on what my dog needed
More enrichment
More structure
More training
More socialisation

But I ignored the fact that I was unravelling inside.
I was tired, overstimulated, and pushing through because I thought that’s what good dog parents do.

Now I know:
My dog didn’t need a perfect trainer.
She needed a calm, present human.
And for that, I needed to start regulating myself first.

I Wouldn’t Believe Everyone Who Said “It’s Just a Phase”

While some things are phases (hello, puppy teething), others are signs of deeper needs.

When my dog started reacting to strangers, I was told to “wait it out.”
But waiting without support just made us both more anxious.

I wish I’d known that asking for help early doesn’t make you weak, it makes you wise. And it saves a lot of pain.

I Wouldn’t Try to “Fix” Everything at Once

I used to wake up with a checklist in my head:
Work on loose lead walking.
Practice recall.
Handle grooming.
Build confidence in new environments.
Play tug.
Do mental enrichment.

It was exhausting.

And honestly? It created more pressure than progress.

Now, I choose one focus at a time.
Because real growth comes from repetition and rhythm, not overwhelm.

I Would Focus More on Connection Than Compliance

I spent too long worrying about whether my dog was “obedient.”
Would she listen in public?
Could she walk nicely on lead?
Was I falling behind?

What I wish I knew then is this: Obedience is overrated. Relationship is everything.

These days, I don’t measure success by cues.
I measure it by how safe my dog feels with me.
How quickly we can reconnect after stress.
How much joy we share in everyday moments.

That’s the stuff that lasts.

I Would Be Kinder to Myself

This might be the biggest one.

Because when things went wrong, and oh, they did, I turned the blame inward.

Why can’t I handle this?
Why is this still happening?
Why does everyone else make it look easy?

But I’ve learned:
There is no such thing as a perfect dog parent.
There is only a present one. A willing one. A resilient one.

And I was doing the best I could with what I knew.
That version of me didn’t need shame. She needed support.

So if that’s where you are now, please know, I see you.
And I’m sending you the compassion I wish I’d given myself sooner.

Final Thoughts

If I could go back and do it over, I’d do it softer.
Less pressure. More presence.
Less proving. More patience.

But the truth is, I can’t go back.

All I can do is keep learning, keep connecting, and keep showing up, with a little more grace, a little more empathy, and a little less guilt.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel a little more supported on your journey because of mine.

We’re all doing the best we can.
And that’s enough.