Why Dog Training Feels So Exhausting (Even When You’re Doing Everything “Right”)
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking,
“Why does this feel so heavy?”
“Why am I so tired when nothing dramatic even happened?”
“Why does dog training feel so draining?”
You’re not alone. And you’re not weak.
A lot of dog parents don’t struggle because they don’t care, they struggle because they care deeply.
They’re thinking constantly. Noticing behaviour. Monitoring their own reactions. Trying to stay calm. Trying to do the right thing.
And very often, they’re doing all of that on their own.
The Invisible Mental Load of Dog Training
There’s something we don’t talk about enough in the dog world.
The mental load. You’re holding questions like:
Did I respond well there?
Was that too much for them?
Am I helping or making this harder?
Should I have handled that differently?
When there isn’t anywhere to put those thoughts, they don’t just disappear.
They sit in your nervous system. That can show up as:
Feeling tense even when things are relatively calm
Replaying walks in your head later
Second-guessing yourself at bedtime
Feeling emotionally flat after situations that “weren’t even that bad”
Nothing dramatic has to happen for you to feel worn down. Carrying responsibility without support is tiring.
Dog Training Burnout Is Real
If you’ve searched things like:
Why does dog training make me anxious?
Why am I so stressed about my dog’s behaviour?
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed with dog training?
It comes from a place of overload. I say this all the time, but I think we all need the reminder - you’re not failing.
When you’re the one holding:
The plan
The emotional regulation
The interpretation of what’s happening
The decision about what comes next
That’s a lot for one nervous system.
Even when you have knowledge. Even when you’ve read the books. Even when you’re doing everything “right.”
I’ve felt this myself with my own dog, Bonnie. There were days when her behaviour wasn’t the hardest part. What felt heavy was being the only place everything lived.
Holding the plan. holding the calm, holding the analysis afterwards.
That quiet load adds up.
What’s Happening in Your Nervous System
From a nervous-system perspective, this makes complete sense.
When you’re holding responsibility alone, your system often stays slightly activated. Not in a big, dramatic way. More like a background hum.
It can feel like:
Losing motivation even though you still care
Snapping at someone sooner than you’d like (I’ve done this!)
Feeling flat after situations that used to feel manageable
Dreading walks before they’ve even started
This is where my Nervous-System Aware Dog Parenting™ becomes important.
Before you train your dog, train your nervous system.
Your stress isn’t invisible, your dog feels it too. And when your system doesn’t have somewhere to settle, training starts to feel brittle or forced, and heavy.
Why Support Changes Everything
Support isn’t about being monitored. It isn’t about being corrected and it isn’t about someone telling you what to do.
It’s about shared load. Humans regulate best when things aren’t carried alone.
When you have somewhere to reflect, to recalibrate and say things out loud, your nervous system softens. Your thinking becomes clearer. Your responses slow down naturally. Your dog feels that shift.
And suddenly training feels less like something you’re pushing uphill.
Not because you learned a brand-new trick, but because you’re not holding everything at once.
You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone
There’s a strong message in dog training that suggests you should be able to work things out alone if you just try hard enough.
But learning under stress doesn’t really work like that. Most dog parents (and humans in general) function better when there’s somewhere steady to land.
Somewhere to:
Talk things through
Feel validated
Recalibrate without judgment
Integrate learning at a pace your nervous system can handle
That doesn’t mean constant access or dependence - instead it’s that you’re not the only container for everything.
If This Feels Familiar
If you’ve been feeling emotionally drained by your dog, if you’ve been quietly exhausted by dog training, or you’ve been carrying it all internally and not saying much out loud…
Pause. Just noticing that is enough for today.
You don’t need to fix anything, or do more and you don’t need to push harder.
Sometimes the shift is simply not holding everything alone.
Where To Go Next
If this resonates, you might find support inside:
The Mindful Dog Parent Podcast - my free weekly podcast that supports dog parents through the emotional trials and tribulations of dog parenting LISTEN HERE
The Dog Parent Path™ - more on this coming soon! JOIN THE NEWSLETTER TO FIND OUT MORE
1:1 training support - whether that’s local to Derby or Burton on Trent or remote, I can guide you through these things with simple, effective support - FIND OUT MORE
Inside these spaces, we focus on something different - two nervous systems. One lead.
Because when calm comes first, everything else works better. And you don’t have to carry it all by yourself anymore.
