Why Feeling Frustrated With Your Dog’s Training Might Actually Be a Good Thing (Yes, Really!)
The Frustration We All Know
Let’s start with a scene we all know too well.
You’re out in the garden or in your living room, treats in hand, ready to teach your dog that new trick or perfect that loose-lead walking. But instead of that smooth, Instagram-worthy training moment, you’re hitting a wall. Your dog is looking at you like you’re speaking another language, and you’re wondering, “Why is dog training so frustrating sometimes?” or “What if we just can’t get this?”
Trust me, you’re not alone, and that feeling is something every dog parent faces.
What I Discovered in The Expectation Effect
Recently, I’ve been reading a fantastic book called The Expectation Effect by David Robson. It’s all about how our expectations shape our reality. One of the big takeaways for me was this idea that moderate frustration, those moments when we feel like we’re not getting it right away, is actually something that can make learning stick better. It was a bit of a lightbulb moment for me because it made me realise that these little struggles aren’t just normal, they’re actually helpful.
The Science of Desirable Difficulties
So let’s dive into the science a bit.
Robson explains that neuroscientists have a concept called “desirable difficulties.” Essentially, when you and your dog face a bit of a challenge, your brains are working harder to form stronger, more lasting connections. It’s kind of like a workout for your brain. When you expect a little frustration and see it as a sign of learning, it actually becomes a positive part of the process rather than a roadblock.
How to Actually Use This in Your Training
Now, let’s talk about bringing this into your daily training. Here are some practical tips:
Pause and Reframe: When you feel that frustration, take a deep breath and remind yourself, “This means we’re learning.” It’s a simple mental shift that can change how you feel in the moment.
Break It Down: If something feels too hard, see if you can break it into smaller steps. Celebrate those tiny wins along the way.
Incorporate Play: If you and your dog are both feeling stuck, take a quick play break. Sometimes a little fun can reset the mood and make learning easier.
Reflect on Progress: Keep a little journal of the small improvements you notice. Over time, you’ll see just how far you’ve come.
Keep Learning and Growing Together
If you found this helpful and want more tips on turning training challenges into growth opportunities, check out our free resource: Strategies for Overwhelmed Dog Parents. It’s packed with practical advice to help you and your dog build a calmer, more connected training journey.
And if you loved this post, you’ll enjoy my podcast - The Mindful Dog Parent!
I created the podcast to support anxious and overwhelmed dog parents who love their dogs deeply. I offer insights into why you feel the way you do, and give you simple tips to take away and implement.
Listen and subscribe anywhere you find your podcasts, or go to: lavendergardenanimalservices.co.uk/podcast
