Helping Children Cope With Pet Loss
How to support your child through the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a beloved pet.
Losing a pet is never easy, but when you’re grieving and trying to help your child through their own loss, it can feel overwhelming. Pets are often a child’s first best friend, their playmate, their cuddle companion, and for many, the first real experience of death.
If you’re not sure what to say, how to say it, or how to help your child grieve in a healthy way, you’re not alone. This guide will walk you through some simple, supportive ways to help your child cope with the loss of a dog, cat, or other beloved pet - while also making space for your own emotions.
Why Pet Loss Hits Children So Hard
Children form incredibly strong emotional bonds with animals. A pet might:
Sleep on their bed every night
Greet them after school
Comfort them when they’re sad or anxious
Be their “safe place” in a big, unpredictable world
So when a pet dies, it can feel like their entire world has changed.
For some children, this can be their very first encounter with death, and it can bring up big, confusing questions:
“Where did they go?”
“Will they come back?”
“Am I going to die too?”
That’s why it’s so important to offer age-appropriate honesty, emotional safety, and ongoing support.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Use simple, clear language
Children understand more than we think, but euphemisms can confuse or scare them. Instead of “put to sleep” or “gone away,” try saying:
“Our dog died. That means their body stopped working and they won’t be coming back, and we’re all feeling really sad about it.”
It’s okay to say the word death or died. It helps them understand what’s really happening and builds emotional resilience.
Avoid minimising or distracting
Comments like:
“It was just a pet”
“You’ll get another one”
“Don’t cry - be brave!”
might be well-meaning, but they can unintentionally teach your child to suppress their feelings. Grief isn’t a problem to be solved - it’s a process to be witnessed.
How to Help Your Child Grieve
1. Let them express their emotions (in their own way)
Some children will cry. Others will act out, become quiet, or ask lots of questions. All of it is normal. Create space for their grief without rushing to fix it.
Try: “It’s okay to miss them. I do too.”
2. Create a goodbye ritual
Holding a small memorial, lighting a candle, or drawing pictures of their pet can help children process the loss and say goodbye in a meaningful way.
3. Encourage memory-keeping
Invite your child to make a scrapbook, photo book, or memory box. Ask:
“What’s your favourite memory of them?”
“What do you think they loved most about you?”
This keeps the connection alive in a healthy way.
4. Answer questions honestly - even the hard ones
If your child asks if the pet is coming back, be kind but truthful. It's okay to say you don’t know what happens after we die, and to share what you believe, while also leaving space for your child to develop their own understanding.
5. Model healthy grief
Let your child see you cry. Show them that sadness is nothing to be ashamed of. It helps them know that big feelings are safe and allowed.
What If They’re Really Struggling?
Some children may experience anxiety, sleep problems, or intense sadness for a while after the loss. That doesn’t mean something is “wrong” - but it might mean they need some extra support.
You can:
Talk to a trauma-informed grief coach or child therapist
Offer gentle routines and reassurance
Avoid rushing them to "move on"
Grief has no timeline - for children or adults.
Final Thoughts
Helping your child through pet loss is one of the most emotionally complex parts of being a parent. But it’s also a powerful opportunity to teach them about love, loss, and the courage it takes to feel.
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to walk with them through it, hand in hand, heart to heart.
And if you’re grieving too? That’s okay. Healing together is just as powerful as guiding them.
Looking for gentle support?
I’ve created a free download: Helping Your Child Through Pet Loss, with journaling prompts, memory activities, and space for shared healing.
