The Silent Grief of Losing a Dog - Pet Grief Support from Sian Lawley-Rudd at Dog Parent Sanctuary
Why the death of a beloved pet leaves such a deep mark - and why you’re not alone in how you feel.
They say grief is the price we pay for love - but when the one you’re grieving has four paws and a wagging tail, the world doesn’t always know what to do with your heartbreak.
Losing a dog can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under your life. One moment, you’re building your days around walks, cuddles, and quiet companionship. The next, your home is too quiet, your routine shattered, and your heart… broken.
And yet, despite how devastating it can be, pet grief often goes unspoken. There’s no bereavement leave for losing your best friend. No flowers on the doorstep. No rituals, condolences, or space to fall apart. Instead, you're expected to carry on - sometimes the very next day - as if nothing life-changing has happened.
Why the Loss of a Dog Hurts So Deeply
Dogs aren’t “just pets.”
They are part of the fabric of our daily lives - silent witnesses to our routines, our breakdowns, our laughter. They know us when we’re most vulnerable, most exhausted, most ourselves.
They greet us with joy, no matter what kind of day we’ve had.
They ground us in the moment when the world feels overwhelming.
They love without conditions, explanations, or expectations.
When they go, we don’t just lose them. We lose the rhythm of our days, the sense of being seen without words, and often, the only place we truly felt safe.
Why Pet Loss Grief Feels So Isolating
One of the hardest parts of grieving a dog is the lack of recognition.
You might feel embarrassed for still crying weeks (or months) later.
Friends may offer well-meaning but painful comments like “Are you getting another one soon?”
You may find yourself trying to “pull it together” at work or around family - when all you want to do is curl up with their blanket and sob.
This kind of grief is what therapists sometimes call disenfranchised grief - grief that society doesn’t validate or fully acknowledge. And it makes everything harder. It can lead to:
Guilt (“Was it the right time to let them go?”)
Anxiety (“What if I forget their smell, their habits, the way they looked at me?”)
Depression (“I feel lost and no one understands why.”)
But here’s the truth: your grief is valid.
You don’t need permission to fall apart. You don’t need to justify your pain. You are allowed to miss them with your whole being - because that’s what love does when it has nowhere to go.
How to Begin Healing, Gently
Healing doesn’t mean “moving on.” It means finding ways to carry their memory with you while slowly re-learning how to breathe again. Here are a few gentle steps that may help:
Acknowledge your grief.
Say it out loud: “This hurts.” Let yourself feel what you feel, no filters.Create a memory ritual.
Light a candle. Write them a letter. Make a photo book. Whatever feels right.Talk about them.
Share stories with people who understand. If you don’t have those people, find them - online groups, therapists, or grief coaches can hold space for you.Support your body.
Grief isn’t just emotional - it lives in your body too. Eat. Sleep. Rest. Breathe.Know that you’re not alone.
Even if others don’t “get it,” there are so many of us who do. There is a quiet community of grieving dog parents out there - and you’re welcome here.
Final Words
If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes or an ache in your chest, I want you to know: you are not broken, and your love is not misplaced.
You are grieving something real. Someone real.
And your grief - silent as it may feel - deserves space, compassion, and care.
When you're ready, I’m here to help you and your family find your way forward.
Looking for support?
You might find comfort in my Pet Loss Grief Workbook - download it here - or join my upcoming free private podcast series, for gentle guidance through the early days of loss, sign up to them here.
