Why your reactive dog doesn't need a firmer hand

If you have a reactive dog, you’ve almost certainly been told at some point to be firmer. To show them who’s boss. To not let them get away with it.

I understand why that advice gets given. When a dog is lunging, barking, and flipping themselves into the air on the lead, it looks like a behaviour that needs to be stopped. And the instinct is to stop it with something equally forceful.

But reactivity isn't a discipline problem. And a firmer hand won't fix it.

What reactivity actually is

Reactivity is a nervous system response. When your dog sees another dog, a person, a cyclist, or whatever their particular trigger is, their brain receives a threat signal and the stress response activates. That response drives the behaviour you see on the surface. The lunging, the barking, the complete loss of the dog you know.

In that state, your dog is not making a choice to misbehave. They are not testing you, pushing boundaries, or trying to dominate the walk. They’re overwhelmed. Their nervous system has taken over, and the thinking part of their brain has temporarily gone offline.

This is why force-based approaches don't work in the long term for reactivity, and in many cases make things considerably worse. Applying more pressure to a nervous system that’s already in crisis escalates the crisis.

What I see with most reactive dogs

In my work as a dog trainer in Derby and Burton-on-Trent, the reactive dogs I work with are never badly behaved dogs in any broader sense. They are often sensitive, intelligent dogs who have learned that certain things in the world are unsafe, and who respond to those things with everything they have.

Bonnie, one of my own rescue lurchers, was about as reactive as it gets when she was at her worst. She would flip herself into the air on her lead, jump onto her back legs, yapping, completely beside herself. To anyone watching, that probably looked like a dog who needed a firmer handler.

What was actually happening was a dog who had been through significant trauma before she came to us, and whose nervous system had never had the chance to settle. She didn't need firmness. She needed consistency, safety, and time.

What actually helps

Helping a reactive dog isn’t about stopping the behaviour directly. It is about changing how the dog feels about the trigger, so the behaviour no longer needs to happen.

That involves initially working below threshold, which means keeping enough distance from the trigger that your dog can notice it without tipping into a full reaction. At that distance, the nervous system stays regulated enough to learn. You can begin to build a new association: that thing in the distance means something good happens, not something frightening.

It also involves looking at the whole picture. Your dog's sleep, their diet, how much physical and mental stimulation they’re getting, how much accumulated stress they’re carrying into each walk. Reactivity doesn't happen in isolation.

And it involves you. The person on the other end of the lead is part of the picture. Dogs co-regulate with their humans. If you are tense before the walk has started, already anticipating the worst, your dog feels that (but one of the biggest messages I want to highlight is that it’s not your fault that they’re reacting!). Learning to manage your own nervous system on walks is not a small thing.

A note on the dogs I work with

I specialise in nervous, reactive dogs and sighthounds, and I work with owners in Derby, Burton-on-Trent, and online across the UK. The approach I use is trauma-informed, positive, and evidence-based. No force, no flooding, no intimidation.

If your dog is reactive and you are in the thick of it right now, I want you to know that it can change. It is not always a quick or linear process, but with the right support it genuinely can get better.

You can find out more about how I work at lavendergardenanimalservices.co.uk, or message me directly if you’d like to talk about what’s going on with your dog: 07476 903840.